26.2 miles and home...

And so... the end is near... in fact it is here. Today was the day and it rocked!

This week has been really weird. I was very very scared and yet at the same time as the week wore on I got more and more excited. On Wednesday I went to the Marathon Expo to pick up my number and do a shift on our stand for work. It was wonderful, I had forgotten all about picking up my number and then there I was, clutching my registration form, signing my name and getting 12434. I spent four hours talking to runners and the excitement started to grow. Everyone was the same as me, scared but excited and it was great to talk to other runners.

I met people with amazing stories, a guy who has run before but this will be the first time he has run with just one kidney since donating the other to his daughter last year. A woman who has run 8 marathons in memory of loved ones. A guy who was running today on his girlfriends b'day and felt he might need to make that up to her at some point later this week! I have to say I thought about all these inspiring stories and more when it got tough today.

And so, before I knew it, it was Sunday morning. I got up and had my scrambled eggs on toast, packed my bag, taped up my toes and put on kit. I met my parents at Charing Cross and got on the train to Blackheath. At the Blue Start I had muesli and bananas and sat on my Mum's portable seat before giving my stuff to my parents and heading to the start.

My stroke of marathon luck came early on. I met Susan, a Scot who had done the Dublin marathon in October and was surprised to find that she got a ballot place in London her first time round. Great for me that she did. As we moved towards the start and crossed the line we both started to cheer and I knew I'd met someone who would be happy to cheer her way around the course just like me. Oh and also matching my pace perfectly. With my 4 hours 40 mins armband to refer to we headed off on the course. It was great, really good and a lot of fun. It seemed to go quickly and before I knew it we were at half way, passing the cheering post full of work people who were screaming me along. At 14 miles I started to struggle at bit, but Susan was adamant that I was going to get through it and she dragged me through to 18 miles before I had to stop and walk and watch her go ahead of me. At 15 miles I saw Mum and Dad, waving from the side of the road in their not-quite-matching anoraks, which was great, but still no sign of Chris, Ronnie and H who were also out there somewhere trying to see me.

It was a shame that I had to part company, with Susan but I took her surname and said I'd check her time online tomorrow, so I will know how she did. As she pulled away and I slowed to a walk I was really starting to feel like this was running away from me (no pun intended!) and I had a gel and checked my phone to see if anyone was trying to find me. I walked for five minutes before I started again and decided that I was aiming to keep going this time to 20 miles. I kept it up as long as I could but it was dragging and I felt like I was never going to get anywhere. But then I remembered that the next work cheering post was at 22 miles and if I could just keep going to there then it was just 4 miles more to go. I checked the time, I was doing well, not quite the 4.40 pace stuck round my wrist, but not that far off, so I pushed forward.

Next I saw the work post, and there was half my office screaming and shouting me along! I waved and it gave me a real boast. Next I was determined to see someone else I knew and was scanning the crowds. Suddenly there was a small break in the crowd, a few kids stood at the front and no one else behind them and suddenly I saw H! I ran over and started screaming her name at the top of my voice, then Chris and Ronnie's. They all came piling over and we had a group hug.

I left them elated, but I was really tired by now. Not sure if I was pushing myself too far or was thirsty, in need of a drink, or a gel, or another walk, I really couldn't quite decide. I kept on. Just before 24 miles I walked through the underpass. I checked my watch. Something strange had happened, I had every chance of making it in under 5 hours still and this also spurred me on. I walked to the 24 mile marker and then started to run again. At 25 I walked again, this time towards Big Ben wanting to save my energy for the last corner and the final stretch. Turning the corner and heading towards Buckingham Palace I was elated again. The final stretch was upon me and the end was in my sight. And then it really was in my sight, 600m to go, 400m to go and finally around the corner and there was the end, the finish line, I kept going with it in sight and crossed the line! I had done it!

The rest has been a bit of a blur. I'm back on the sofa now, I hurt, one of my toenails is a little loose, I have a large blood blister on my big toe and some chaffing, but other than that I'm pretty much OK. Tired, but OK.

The best thing is that I feel so good about my time. I think I did it in 4 hours and 51 mins but will have to wait until tomorrow to get the final chip time. But sub 5 hours, that is great. This is what my first marathon should have been like. Tough, but fun, a real challenge but a great sense of achievement and something I can safely say I will never, ever do again.

I have my eye on a half marathon though... :)

Disasterous runs and the last few weeks...

What an awful, awful, awful week. It has been hideous, I don't think I've had a training week so bad in the whole run of things.

It all started on Tuesday. I went out for my long run, intending to do 20 miles. Well, that didn't work out. After an hour and a few mins I had to stop running. From the moment I stepped off and started to the moment I decided to call it quits I felt like I was about the throw up. I was slow, everything ached, it wasn't a usual little bit of end-of-the-day tiredness that I could shake off, I knew that I wasn't going to be able to finish my long run. Upset and disillusioned I got my stuff from the office and went home on the tube hoping to relax.

Really nothing has changed. Today, this morning in fact, I went for a long run which was also a disaster, and yet here I am, on the sofa with a large blood filled blister (I haven't quite decided how to handle this one, it's really very gross and I don't know if I should prick it or not - I know, it's yukky, but this is what happens when you train for a marathon people!), all my running gear dripping on the floor and my trainers stuffed with newspaper, shivering in my dressing gown.

And yet, today, after this awful long run, life is good. Lots of things went wrong, and again I didn't finish the distance I set out to do. But I'm sitting here knowing that in two weeks on Sunday I will be running the London Marathon and I will be crossing the finish line.

To quote Bryn from Gavin and Stacey: And I'll tell you for why...

After the awful Tuesday night run that never went anywhere I went home and doubted that I could do it. I really wondered if I'd bitten of more than I can chew this time and if running the marathon might not be too much for me. On Wednesday I sent a few emails to friends saying that I'd had a rubbish week and explaining how down I felt about the whole thing.

And then everyone around me started to do the most wonderful things. My friends all sent me emails back saying how I could do it. Kim at work spent 5 minutes listing reasons that I would be fine. Helen sent me an email saying if I could just up and do 20 miles then I had nothing to worry about. And Ronnie, well she started a one woman fundraising campaign on my behalf in her office. On Thursday I honestly think that someone sponsored me every half an hour, or at least it felt like it!

And today's run? Well, yes, today's run was a disaster, but I have finished it feeling like I can take on the marathon and finish it. And that's what counts. I just have to stick to what I know is right for me and has been through all my training. I got up and had breakfast (scrambled eggs on toast) but I was impatient to get going so I didn't really have enough water. I set off and was doing fine, but realised by the time I got to Battersea that my gels (they are pouches of energy gel that you take with water to keep you going on the way round) had all fallen out of my pocket. It tipped it down with rain, it was very windy. I ran for over three hours, but I didn't finish, without the gels I was getting more and more hungry and tired, not tired in a 'I've just run over 15 miles way' tired in the way that was making me feel a bit dizzy. I walked for ten minutes before Tower Bridge but that was good, I have felt before like slowing to walk will only put me in more pain but ten minutes of walking really helped, so I know that if I'm that tired on the day a ten minute break will do the trick. But I was still dizzy, so as I got to London Bridge I diverted to the tube and came home.

But now here I am, on the sofa, looking at my blood blister, thinking that in two weeks time I am going to rock the marathon. I'll make sure I drink enough, not put my gels in a pocket with no zip (!), take my time and walk if I have to and enjoy the atmosphere and the people and the whole day... unless of course the weather is like this in which case I'll be the one on the elite runners heels trying to get round asap so as not to get so wet!

3 weeks to go...

That's a lie, it isn't three weeks to go, in three weeks time I will have finished all of this madness and running insane distances will no longer be part of my life any more. And right now that is about the only thought that is keeping me at all sane.

Another thought that is keeping me going: after my 20 mile run tonight my next longest distance will be the marathon itself. I am looking forward to a few weeks off from such long runs (last week 20 miles took me three and a half hours - that is a long long time to be out pounding the pavement!) and I think I might have mentally recovered just in time to tackle the actual distance on the 13th.

But now the fear is setting in. What if I can't do it, what if I don't complete it? What if it is as hot as it was last year, how will I run if it is 30 degrees? What if my knee gives up and decides it doesn't want to do the whole thing? I really am starting to worry...

But then I have read the latest copy of Marathon News - I just have to 'trust my training' - I have been out there, run the distances, done Mil Fit in the rain, sleet, hail and snow (yes, really, I got caught in the weekend blizzard at Mil Fit on Saturday - joy!) pounded around Regent's Park, worn a small path home from the office, jogged past others on my way round the bridges of the Thames. I really have stuck it out this time, so I guess now I just have to wait until I get there, lace up my trainers one last time and get going on the longest run of all my training...

And then, in three weeks time, I'll be done, and possibly complaining that I have nothing to do the whole time... well, I say that, I will be able to drink again, so actually I might just be in an alcoholic coma for the first fortnight at least trying to make up what I missed!

5 weeks to go...

I have spent most of this week convinced that I have already written this blog, apparently not... ah well, no time like the present, although by Sunday I'll be in a position to write '4 weeks to go' and Sunday is but a few days away, so I guess I am suddenly in a state of mostly Zen-like calm about the prospect of running the ACTUAL marathon, all 26.2 miles, in a few weeks time...

This week has been a good week, even though I've not really managed to hit every training target, it has gone well. The weather has been playing havoc with my training schedule. Nevermind the damage that it has done across the UK, oh no, dwell instead on the fact that wind and rain has prevented me from doing the distance I would have liked this week - that is the real news story here let me tell you!

Monday I was all geared up for a long plod home, gear at work, ready to go, but the wind and rain got worse, then it was slightly sunny, then it got worse, and even worse, so by the time I left work it was clear that there was nothing for it but to cut my run short. There's no point in being out in the awful weather, I could catch cold, it's wet, it's freezing, there are no upsides and that's before I've even started. For a moment though as I pushed open the door, switched on my iPod shuffle and crossed the road I was nostalgic for the running I have done in the past, soaked but warm, tired and beaten by the wind but glowing, and for a second I considered going the whole distance. For just a second though before a huge gust of wind came straight at me, rain poured directly in my face and I decided that I was much much better off with just the 6 miles home...

Wednesday I had Mil Fit penciled in. After a whole day being 'welcomed' at work with an induction I was beat. It was great fun but really I had spent the whole day in a darkened room looking at PowerPoint, so I was energised about my job, but also about to nod off due to the warm darkened room! However, just when I had decided I could go straight home, fate, or rather motivation stepped in in the form of a talk by a patient, our last session of the day. Hearing about what someone else went through, and then just 14 months later running the Londn Marathon made me realise that my fit and healthy self has no excuses, and so off to Mil Fit I went. Another great session, topped off by being interviewed at the end about why I do Mil Fit for a piece about alternatives to the gym, I wore my work hoodie with pride so I hope we get coverage!

And so to today... my rescheduled long run loomed large today. Still tired, but OK I decided to take the plunge. The weather was chilly but dry. Well, it was until about 4pm and then it all went very very wrong. Looking out the window I realised that I would have to consider cutting my run short again but thought I'd see how it went. I started off well and the first two laps of Regent's Park were comfy and a bit wet but mostly dry. As I started to turn and run towards the next stage though things took a turn for the worse. The rain came down harder and harder and I realised that three hours out, cold and wet, would do me no favours. So just the 12 miles tonight it seems, I am now home, warm in my PJs and fluffy Uggs about to have some dinner. I could have gone for longer, but really the chill was getting to me. As I nearer Vauxhall Bridge I took stock one last time, considering lengthening the run, when a bus went past me, through the biggest puddle I have seen in a long time and covered me from head to toe in dirty rain water down my left side and most of my right. Soggy, but laughing at the irony that the decision had finally been made for me I stuck to my straight home route and look forward to 20 miles on Monday.

Yes, you did read the right, I'm looking forward to 20 miles on Monday! Bring it on!

6 weeks to go...

It is getting ever closer, but after this week it seems like I might just do this and enjoy it too!

The week started badly, I woke up on Monday morning and felt awful. Dizzy, hot, cold, generally just ill. So that was me done for the day, after a couple of glasses of water I was straight back to bed and slept through until the afternoon. Between dozing in the afternoon I watched large amounts of soothing 'One Tree Hill' streamed over the interweb and took it nice and easy.

By Tuesday I was feeling a little delicate and tired but back to normal. But now for the tough part - I was supposed to go for a long run on Monday night, I have a training schedule to keep up with and now I'm behind. Tuesday was a low day, I was wondering if it was ever going to come together - would I ever want to run the whole distance? Would I even be able to? It was a really low point and I was thinking that I'd never make it.

By Wednesday I realised that I have no choice. I can't pull out now, and I am capable of doing this, I just need to nuture my confidence and train it in the same way I've been training my body. I started thinking of all the inspirational people that have done marathons against the odds and how I, as a perfectly healthy person, will be able to do this as long as I put my head down and get through this final push. I started to give myself little pep talks whenever I had a negative thought - of course I am going to run this, yes I will do it, and I will enjoy it!

To be honest, at first none of this helped on Wednesday night as I embarked on my 17.5 mile run. It is a long way, and after one lap (3 miles) of Regent's Park I was just feeling like rubbish. But I kept on. I thought about all the positive things I had thought about all day. I thought about the fact that I was better prepared today, I had a snack at around 4pm and it had fuelled me, and for the first time I bought gel packs with me for an extra boost on the way. And everything started to fall into place. I gradually fell into my pace and the next two hours flew by! The gels worked wonders, they taste very strange, but once you take them with some water they are great. It was hard towards the end but then it was 17.5 miles!

After my little talk to myself (not like out loud, I haven't been sent totally mad just yet) I have been in a totally different frame of mind. Now I think about the marathon and think about running it, being comfortable and finishing it, whereas before I was just full of dread.

I went for a lunchtime run today, round the park at a bit of a pace and up and down Primrose Hill twice. I got back to the office full of the joys of spring, I feel like a real runner now, sad as though that sounds, getting into the training is just really motivating me to move forward.

And so... 6 weeks to go, in fact almost nearly 5... 3 more long runs... lots more Primrose Hill and sprinting up and down and Mil Fit and then on 13th April - it is D-day! Bring it on!

Make payday = sponsorship day!

A gentle reminder as we head towards the end of the month (payday - hooray!) that you really do want to sponsor my craziness and give to my chosen charity - Get Connected.

Remember: I got my place by ballot so this means ALL the money that I raise goes straight to Get Connected, I don't have to make a minimum amount in order to run, and Get Connected didn't have to pay for my place, so every penny that you give really will go straight to finding young people the help that they need.

I heard news this week about a helpline that might have to close due to lack of funding, helplines like Get Connected really are a lifeline to young people who don't know where to turn so please think about what you can give, and give generously!

www.justgiving.com/goingthatextramile

Special Offer: sponsor me and chose a song for my iPod for me to listen to between cheering posts on the way round those 26.2 miles! Email me your selection once you have sponsored me and I'll publish the full playlist the week of the marathon so you know what will be motivating me to get across that finish line.

7 weeks to go...

And so another week ticks by. This week I must admit that it has been light on training. I have been putting the finishing touches to my final training plan so I know what I am doing over the next 7 weeks, how far I need to go, what I need to do to make sure I cross the finish line.

I've now done 16.6 miles twice (just finished one, did the same route last week) and I have to say that I have realised that the marathon is FAR! I think I am going to need all the cheering and help that I can get on the day... I have, however, discovered this evening that past a certain point it hurts less to keep running than to slow to a walk. This is a key discovery, and I think might become a mantra in the following weeks, no matter how tired I am I will repeat in my head 'this doesn't hurt as much as walking, this doesn't hurt as much as walking'...

And so, I now have four more long runs to go. I'd like to get up to 20/21 miles three weeks before the marathon, so that is Easter weekend, and I have four runs to make up the distance. This is great, it's a comfortable addition each week of about a mile, so I should be adding small distances and really feeling the benefit. I have to say, I might have suffered this week but last week I suffered a lot more, so I take from that that this is getting better and all the hard work is paying off!

Also last week I did a 6 mile run home on Thursday. It was great, really comfortable, a good speed, I felt really good about myself. I think it was perfectly timed, the 16.6 on Monday was a huge struggle and I really felt like I had taken a step back in training terms, but by Thursday I was jumping up and down and ready to hit the pavements again, and the rest did my knee the world of good, so I am improving, it just doesn't feel like that at around mile 14 of a long run!

Looking at the week ahead I have Mil Fit twice and another run, possibly 4 miles in the park, or 6 if I can fit it in, we'll see. I also need to decide on my final three weeks training, what distances I'm going to do and when. I think the internet holds the crucial answers to my training questions!

8 weeks to go...

So, in 8 weeks time, at about 4.20pm, I'll be hobbling home having completed the marathon! I'm not 100% sure that I have my head around that quite yet, but I'm getting there!

This week, as you can see from my other blog entry, I did 14 miles. Which was a bit hard. But for the rest of the week I did well, albeit with a healthy dose of falling apart added in for good measure!

On Wednesday I went to Mil Fit. It was a good class, but I trailed at the back. We did one exercise which involved running back and forth and back and forth between these lamp posts and by the time I had got to the last one and did the exercise and started back I was right at the back, trailing by a good 50 yards... slightly embarrassing, but I try to justify it in my head by thinking that a) it's dark on the Common, I can't go rushing around at full tilt in case I fall over in the dark and really do some damage, meaning I can't run! b) I run a great big long run every week, everyone else in my class just does Mil Fit - they'd be slower if they had to run further and further every week (I base this on no facts whatsoever, for all I know the whole of the rest of the class could also be running the Marathon and still be faster than me!)

Friday I went for a little 3 miles at lunchtime. Running at work is great, you get away from your desk, out in the park, and it was a glorious day on Friday, the sun beamed. Which was good as it was an OK run but I was tired from the start and felt every single step on the way round... but that is a cheering thing about even the worst run, you put one foot in front of the other and that is one step closer to being done and I can't name a time I've started a run and not been able to finish it, so even if it is bad, at least the miles are clocking up, that's what counts!

And so, the week finished with a final Mil Fit on Saturday morning. It was FREEZING! The ground was cold, there was frost everywhere, and I decided that I didn't need my gloves - big mistake! At one point I had to stop doing press ups just because my hands were so cold that it hurt to hold the press up position! Still, there was worst, whilst executing a 'wide leg squat thrust' (don't ask, really just don't ask!) I took my knee out again. When I did the first on I did think in my head 'This doesn't sounds like a good idea for my knee' but went ahead and did it anyway, resulting in my knee going out from under me again. Fortunately I managed to limp on and was back running (tottering!) in my position at the back of the class again in no time!

14 miles and home...

Ouch, ouch, ouch... adding just 2 miles on last week's 12 has not agreed with me!

Just got back from a 14 mile detour to home, via Regent's Park (3 laps) and then home to my humble abode. Steady pace, but uncomfortable towards the end. Somewhere around Victoria it started to really kick in and my usual 100 yard walk/cool down at the end was really more of a hobble than anything else!!

Still I am going to shower (longer runs are good but once you sit down for about 10 minutes you realise that you smell, like really smell, not just a faint whiff, a real sweaty pong! Nice!), eat a big bowl of pasta and vegetate in front of some TV. With a lot of stretching thrown in so that tomorrow when I get out of bed I don't actually have to hobble to the bathroom! Oh and I might light a scented candle...

Don't worry though, I'll live to run another mile, or hopefully another 26.2...

PS Big thanks to Dan for being my first sponsor! :) Karma will be looking out for you this week!

9 weeks to go...

OMG, OMG, OMG!!

9 weeks tomorrow I will be lining up for the start of the 2008 Flora London Marathon and running for 26.2 miles... OMG!

So now it is crunch time, I need to get on with training, fundraising, oh and yes, some panicing about what I am doing and whether it is really going to be OK!!

This week has been a good training week, I did some great runs, my knee injury (damn, skiing!) is healing well and I feel like I have crossed that barrier and mentally I feel like a distance runner now. That's sounds like some kind of motivational speak, or just a stupid cliche, but really this week I have got my head around running a whole marathon and really know that I can do it!

This week I ran 12.1 (don't forget that 0.1, it really is important to the overall distance, much the same as the 0.2 in the marathon really does make all the difference, ask any runner at the 26 mile marker!!) in just a breath under 2 hours. I am really pleased with this. I don't want to think about times or putting a target on what I am doing or when I finish, but I do have a time in mind and I'd like to keep visualising it and see how close I can get...

I also went to Mil Fit on Monday, which was great until I fell awkwardly on my knee in the last 10 minutes and went down. I was fine, a few streches and a little walk around put me right, but it really took my breath away from me and I was worried that I had done some serious damage. Alas no, I survive to run yet another long run over over 12 miles - lucky me!

Also, went for a little three mile dash around the park on Friday lunchtime, how can 3 miles feel like hell when I can do 12? It doesn't seem right to be, but everything ached and complained the whole way round, I was tired before I had even taken half a dozen steps, it wasn't good! Still, more miles on the legs, more training on the plan, more of an excuse to mainline chocolate like it is going out of fashion!!

In other news I have decided to put my ballot place to good use and raise some money for Get Connected. Please see my fundraising page at: www.justgiving.com/goingthatextramile for more details and the chance to donate large sums of money to a good cause as a way of making yourself feel better for revelling in my misery as I train for this!