What an awful, awful, awful week. It has been hideous, I don't think I've had a training week so bad in the whole run of things.
It all started on Tuesday. I went out for my long run, intending to do 20 miles. Well, that didn't work out. After an hour and a few mins I had to stop running. From the moment I stepped off and started to the moment I decided to call it quits I felt like I was about the throw up. I was slow, everything ached, it wasn't a usual little bit of end-of-the-day tiredness that I could shake off, I knew that I wasn't going to be able to finish my long run. Upset and disillusioned I got my stuff from the office and went home on the tube hoping to relax.
Really nothing has changed. Today, this morning in fact, I went for a long run which was also a disaster, and yet here I am, on the sofa with a large blood filled blister (I haven't quite decided how to handle this one, it's really very gross and I don't know if I should prick it or not - I know, it's yukky, but this is what happens when you train for a marathon people!), all my running gear dripping on the floor and my trainers stuffed with newspaper, shivering in my dressing gown.
And yet, today, after this awful long run, life is good. Lots of things went wrong, and again I didn't finish the distance I set out to do. But I'm sitting here knowing that in two weeks on Sunday I will be running the London Marathon and I will be crossing the finish line.
To quote Bryn from Gavin and Stacey: And I'll tell you for why...
After the awful Tuesday night run that never went anywhere I went home and doubted that I could do it. I really wondered if I'd bitten of more than I can chew this time and if running the marathon might not be too much for me. On Wednesday I sent a few emails to friends saying that I'd had a rubbish week and explaining how down I felt about the whole thing.
And then everyone around me started to do the most wonderful things. My friends all sent me emails back saying how I could do it. Kim at work spent 5 minutes listing reasons that I would be fine. Helen sent me an email saying if I could just up and do 20 miles then I had nothing to worry about. And Ronnie, well she started a one woman fundraising campaign on my behalf in her office. On Thursday I honestly think that someone sponsored me every half an hour, or at least it felt like it!
And today's run? Well, yes, today's run was a disaster, but I have finished it feeling like I can take on the marathon and finish it. And that's what counts. I just have to stick to what I know is right for me and has been through all my training. I got up and had breakfast (scrambled eggs on toast) but I was impatient to get going so I didn't really have enough water. I set off and was doing fine, but realised by the time I got to Battersea that my gels (they are pouches of energy gel that you take with water to keep you going on the way round) had all fallen out of my pocket. It tipped it down with rain, it was very windy. I ran for over three hours, but I didn't finish, without the gels I was getting more and more hungry and tired, not tired in a 'I've just run over 15 miles way' tired in the way that was making me feel a bit dizzy. I walked for ten minutes before Tower Bridge but that was good, I have felt before like slowing to walk will only put me in more pain but ten minutes of walking really helped, so I know that if I'm that tired on the day a ten minute break will do the trick. But I was still dizzy, so as I got to London Bridge I diverted to the tube and came home.
But now here I am, on the sofa, looking at my blood blister, thinking that in two weeks time I am going to rock the marathon. I'll make sure I drink enough, not put my gels in a pocket with no zip (!), take my time and walk if I have to and enjoy the atmosphere and the people and the whole day... unless of course the weather is like this in which case I'll be the one on the elite runners heels trying to get round asap so as not to get so wet!
Friday, 28 March 2008
Tuesday, 25 March 2008
3 weeks to go...
That's a lie, it isn't three weeks to go, in three weeks time I will have finished all of this madness and running insane distances will no longer be part of my life any more. And right now that is about the only thought that is keeping me at all sane.
Another thought that is keeping me going: after my 20 mile run tonight my next longest distance will be the marathon itself. I am looking forward to a few weeks off from such long runs (last week 20 miles took me three and a half hours - that is a long long time to be out pounding the pavement!) and I think I might have mentally recovered just in time to tackle the actual distance on the 13th.
But now the fear is setting in. What if I can't do it, what if I don't complete it? What if it is as hot as it was last year, how will I run if it is 30 degrees? What if my knee gives up and decides it doesn't want to do the whole thing? I really am starting to worry...
But then I have read the latest copy of Marathon News - I just have to 'trust my training' - I have been out there, run the distances, done Mil Fit in the rain, sleet, hail and snow (yes, really, I got caught in the weekend blizzard at Mil Fit on Saturday - joy!) pounded around Regent's Park, worn a small path home from the office, jogged past others on my way round the bridges of the Thames. I really have stuck it out this time, so I guess now I just have to wait until I get there, lace up my trainers one last time and get going on the longest run of all my training...
And then, in three weeks time, I'll be done, and possibly complaining that I have nothing to do the whole time... well, I say that, I will be able to drink again, so actually I might just be in an alcoholic coma for the first fortnight at least trying to make up what I missed!
Another thought that is keeping me going: after my 20 mile run tonight my next longest distance will be the marathon itself. I am looking forward to a few weeks off from such long runs (last week 20 miles took me three and a half hours - that is a long long time to be out pounding the pavement!) and I think I might have mentally recovered just in time to tackle the actual distance on the 13th.
But now the fear is setting in. What if I can't do it, what if I don't complete it? What if it is as hot as it was last year, how will I run if it is 30 degrees? What if my knee gives up and decides it doesn't want to do the whole thing? I really am starting to worry...
But then I have read the latest copy of Marathon News - I just have to 'trust my training' - I have been out there, run the distances, done Mil Fit in the rain, sleet, hail and snow (yes, really, I got caught in the weekend blizzard at Mil Fit on Saturday - joy!) pounded around Regent's Park, worn a small path home from the office, jogged past others on my way round the bridges of the Thames. I really have stuck it out this time, so I guess now I just have to wait until I get there, lace up my trainers one last time and get going on the longest run of all my training...
And then, in three weeks time, I'll be done, and possibly complaining that I have nothing to do the whole time... well, I say that, I will be able to drink again, so actually I might just be in an alcoholic coma for the first fortnight at least trying to make up what I missed!
Thursday, 13 March 2008
5 weeks to go...
I have spent most of this week convinced that I have already written this blog, apparently not... ah well, no time like the present, although by Sunday I'll be in a position to write '4 weeks to go' and Sunday is but a few days away, so I guess I am suddenly in a state of mostly Zen-like calm about the prospect of running the ACTUAL marathon, all 26.2 miles, in a few weeks time...
This week has been a good week, even though I've not really managed to hit every training target, it has gone well. The weather has been playing havoc with my training schedule. Nevermind the damage that it has done across the UK, oh no, dwell instead on the fact that wind and rain has prevented me from doing the distance I would have liked this week - that is the real news story here let me tell you!
Monday I was all geared up for a long plod home, gear at work, ready to go, but the wind and rain got worse, then it was slightly sunny, then it got worse, and even worse, so by the time I left work it was clear that there was nothing for it but to cut my run short. There's no point in being out in the awful weather, I could catch cold, it's wet, it's freezing, there are no upsides and that's before I've even started. For a moment though as I pushed open the door, switched on my iPod shuffle and crossed the road I was nostalgic for the running I have done in the past, soaked but warm, tired and beaten by the wind but glowing, and for a second I considered going the whole distance. For just a second though before a huge gust of wind came straight at me, rain poured directly in my face and I decided that I was much much better off with just the 6 miles home...
Wednesday I had Mil Fit penciled in. After a whole day being 'welcomed' at work with an induction I was beat. It was great fun but really I had spent the whole day in a darkened room looking at PowerPoint, so I was energised about my job, but also about to nod off due to the warm darkened room! However, just when I had decided I could go straight home, fate, or rather motivation stepped in in the form of a talk by a patient, our last session of the day. Hearing about what someone else went through, and then just 14 months later running the Londn Marathon made me realise that my fit and healthy self has no excuses, and so off to Mil Fit I went. Another great session, topped off by being interviewed at the end about why I do Mil Fit for a piece about alternatives to the gym, I wore my work hoodie with pride so I hope we get coverage!
And so to today... my rescheduled long run loomed large today. Still tired, but OK I decided to take the plunge. The weather was chilly but dry. Well, it was until about 4pm and then it all went very very wrong. Looking out the window I realised that I would have to consider cutting my run short again but thought I'd see how it went. I started off well and the first two laps of Regent's Park were comfy and a bit wet but mostly dry. As I started to turn and run towards the next stage though things took a turn for the worse. The rain came down harder and harder and I realised that three hours out, cold and wet, would do me no favours. So just the 12 miles tonight it seems, I am now home, warm in my PJs and fluffy Uggs about to have some dinner. I could have gone for longer, but really the chill was getting to me. As I nearer Vauxhall Bridge I took stock one last time, considering lengthening the run, when a bus went past me, through the biggest puddle I have seen in a long time and covered me from head to toe in dirty rain water down my left side and most of my right. Soggy, but laughing at the irony that the decision had finally been made for me I stuck to my straight home route and look forward to 20 miles on Monday.
Yes, you did read the right, I'm looking forward to 20 miles on Monday! Bring it on!
This week has been a good week, even though I've not really managed to hit every training target, it has gone well. The weather has been playing havoc with my training schedule. Nevermind the damage that it has done across the UK, oh no, dwell instead on the fact that wind and rain has prevented me from doing the distance I would have liked this week - that is the real news story here let me tell you!
Monday I was all geared up for a long plod home, gear at work, ready to go, but the wind and rain got worse, then it was slightly sunny, then it got worse, and even worse, so by the time I left work it was clear that there was nothing for it but to cut my run short. There's no point in being out in the awful weather, I could catch cold, it's wet, it's freezing, there are no upsides and that's before I've even started. For a moment though as I pushed open the door, switched on my iPod shuffle and crossed the road I was nostalgic for the running I have done in the past, soaked but warm, tired and beaten by the wind but glowing, and for a second I considered going the whole distance. For just a second though before a huge gust of wind came straight at me, rain poured directly in my face and I decided that I was much much better off with just the 6 miles home...
Wednesday I had Mil Fit penciled in. After a whole day being 'welcomed' at work with an induction I was beat. It was great fun but really I had spent the whole day in a darkened room looking at PowerPoint, so I was energised about my job, but also about to nod off due to the warm darkened room! However, just when I had decided I could go straight home, fate, or rather motivation stepped in in the form of a talk by a patient, our last session of the day. Hearing about what someone else went through, and then just 14 months later running the Londn Marathon made me realise that my fit and healthy self has no excuses, and so off to Mil Fit I went. Another great session, topped off by being interviewed at the end about why I do Mil Fit for a piece about alternatives to the gym, I wore my work hoodie with pride so I hope we get coverage!
And so to today... my rescheduled long run loomed large today. Still tired, but OK I decided to take the plunge. The weather was chilly but dry. Well, it was until about 4pm and then it all went very very wrong. Looking out the window I realised that I would have to consider cutting my run short again but thought I'd see how it went. I started off well and the first two laps of Regent's Park were comfy and a bit wet but mostly dry. As I started to turn and run towards the next stage though things took a turn for the worse. The rain came down harder and harder and I realised that three hours out, cold and wet, would do me no favours. So just the 12 miles tonight it seems, I am now home, warm in my PJs and fluffy Uggs about to have some dinner. I could have gone for longer, but really the chill was getting to me. As I nearer Vauxhall Bridge I took stock one last time, considering lengthening the run, when a bus went past me, through the biggest puddle I have seen in a long time and covered me from head to toe in dirty rain water down my left side and most of my right. Soggy, but laughing at the irony that the decision had finally been made for me I stuck to my straight home route and look forward to 20 miles on Monday.
Yes, you did read the right, I'm looking forward to 20 miles on Monday! Bring it on!
Friday, 7 March 2008
6 weeks to go...
It is getting ever closer, but after this week it seems like I might just do this and enjoy it too!
The week started badly, I woke up on Monday morning and felt awful. Dizzy, hot, cold, generally just ill. So that was me done for the day, after a couple of glasses of water I was straight back to bed and slept through until the afternoon. Between dozing in the afternoon I watched large amounts of soothing 'One Tree Hill' streamed over the interweb and took it nice and easy.
By Tuesday I was feeling a little delicate and tired but back to normal. But now for the tough part - I was supposed to go for a long run on Monday night, I have a training schedule to keep up with and now I'm behind. Tuesday was a low day, I was wondering if it was ever going to come together - would I ever want to run the whole distance? Would I even be able to? It was a really low point and I was thinking that I'd never make it.
By Wednesday I realised that I have no choice. I can't pull out now, and I am capable of doing this, I just need to nuture my confidence and train it in the same way I've been training my body. I started thinking of all the inspirational people that have done marathons against the odds and how I, as a perfectly healthy person, will be able to do this as long as I put my head down and get through this final push. I started to give myself little pep talks whenever I had a negative thought - of course I am going to run this, yes I will do it, and I will enjoy it!
To be honest, at first none of this helped on Wednesday night as I embarked on my 17.5 mile run. It is a long way, and after one lap (3 miles) of Regent's Park I was just feeling like rubbish. But I kept on. I thought about all the positive things I had thought about all day. I thought about the fact that I was better prepared today, I had a snack at around 4pm and it had fuelled me, and for the first time I bought gel packs with me for an extra boost on the way. And everything started to fall into place. I gradually fell into my pace and the next two hours flew by! The gels worked wonders, they taste very strange, but once you take them with some water they are great. It was hard towards the end but then it was 17.5 miles!
After my little talk to myself (not like out loud, I haven't been sent totally mad just yet) I have been in a totally different frame of mind. Now I think about the marathon and think about running it, being comfortable and finishing it, whereas before I was just full of dread.
I went for a lunchtime run today, round the park at a bit of a pace and up and down Primrose Hill twice. I got back to the office full of the joys of spring, I feel like a real runner now, sad as though that sounds, getting into the training is just really motivating me to move forward.
And so... 6 weeks to go, in fact almost nearly 5... 3 more long runs... lots more Primrose Hill and sprinting up and down and Mil Fit and then on 13th April - it is D-day! Bring it on!
The week started badly, I woke up on Monday morning and felt awful. Dizzy, hot, cold, generally just ill. So that was me done for the day, after a couple of glasses of water I was straight back to bed and slept through until the afternoon. Between dozing in the afternoon I watched large amounts of soothing 'One Tree Hill' streamed over the interweb and took it nice and easy.
By Tuesday I was feeling a little delicate and tired but back to normal. But now for the tough part - I was supposed to go for a long run on Monday night, I have a training schedule to keep up with and now I'm behind. Tuesday was a low day, I was wondering if it was ever going to come together - would I ever want to run the whole distance? Would I even be able to? It was a really low point and I was thinking that I'd never make it.
By Wednesday I realised that I have no choice. I can't pull out now, and I am capable of doing this, I just need to nuture my confidence and train it in the same way I've been training my body. I started thinking of all the inspirational people that have done marathons against the odds and how I, as a perfectly healthy person, will be able to do this as long as I put my head down and get through this final push. I started to give myself little pep talks whenever I had a negative thought - of course I am going to run this, yes I will do it, and I will enjoy it!
To be honest, at first none of this helped on Wednesday night as I embarked on my 17.5 mile run. It is a long way, and after one lap (3 miles) of Regent's Park I was just feeling like rubbish. But I kept on. I thought about all the positive things I had thought about all day. I thought about the fact that I was better prepared today, I had a snack at around 4pm and it had fuelled me, and for the first time I bought gel packs with me for an extra boost on the way. And everything started to fall into place. I gradually fell into my pace and the next two hours flew by! The gels worked wonders, they taste very strange, but once you take them with some water they are great. It was hard towards the end but then it was 17.5 miles!
After my little talk to myself (not like out loud, I haven't been sent totally mad just yet) I have been in a totally different frame of mind. Now I think about the marathon and think about running it, being comfortable and finishing it, whereas before I was just full of dread.
I went for a lunchtime run today, round the park at a bit of a pace and up and down Primrose Hill twice. I got back to the office full of the joys of spring, I feel like a real runner now, sad as though that sounds, getting into the training is just really motivating me to move forward.
And so... 6 weeks to go, in fact almost nearly 5... 3 more long runs... lots more Primrose Hill and sprinting up and down and Mil Fit and then on 13th April - it is D-day! Bring it on!
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